Witty Wednesday

Happy Wednesday! Try to conceal your shock at getting two of these in a row (and from me on top of it!) long enough for me to tell you that I have the next two weeks covered as well!! I know, when was the last time you got four in a row!! 🙂 I am pretty pleased with myself right now, I tell you what.

I did not make these up but they were sent to me in one of the least annoying email chains I’ve ever received. I actually laughed out loud over several of these! Enjoy 🙂

These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:


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The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

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The sermon this morning: ‘Jesus Walks on the Water.’ The sermon tonight: ‘Searching for Jesus.’

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Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say ‘Hell’ to someone who doesn’t care much about you.

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Don’t let worry kill you off – let the Church help.

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Miss Charlene Mason sang ‘I will not pass this way again,’ giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

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For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

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