Rebekah’s Baptism & Testimony of His Grace

Rebekah’s Testimony & Baptism from September 23, 2012:

I was raised in a Christian home, and I thought because we were Christians, that’s why our life was perfect. We had a good house, both my parents were married (still are), and I have two older brothers that are awesome. I could answer all the questions the right way, and quote the scripture and memorize the names of the books in the Bible. But, I didn’t fully grasp the gospel and what it actually meant.

Just before I turned 17, I met my first real boyfriend, Nathan. I loved him almost instantly. This was what I had always wanted: to meet a boy in high school, go to college together, get married, and have loads of kids together. Plus, he was a Christian, too. Everything was perfect and we were perfect together. I wanted to be closer to him; I wanted to seal the deal. We had discussed sex before and he told me he didn’t want to wait until he found his wife, and he said he knew he was going to marry me. About a month after that, he left for college and the plan was for me to graduate in the spring and join him. But, he decided he wanted to be single, and he was not kind about it.

That was probably the first time I felt a real sadness. I became very depressed. I couldn’t eat. I didn’t answer my phone. All I did was lay in bed and cry. How and why would God have taken away something so good? I was even on antidepressants, but they only made me feel worse and I had to be hospitalized because I became a danger to myself. I wanted to die, and I wanted nothing to do with God.

After a few months, my depression became anger. I never fully got over Nathan and when I went to college, he started coming around again. But, this time he brought drugs with him. I figured, he was back, and this is what I always wanted. So, for the next five years, I devoted myself to doing drugs because it was the only time I ever felt myself and happy.

Just before I graduated from cosmetology school in 2008, I met Nick, who later became my boyfriend. He was amazing. I quit drinking, and doing drugs because I just didn’t want to when I was with him. Something miraculous had happened; I got over Nathan. I had been under Nathan’s spell for six years and it was so good to get relief. Nick was almost too perfect. We shared the same views and loved the same music and always goofed around together. We always found something to do (one time we had played hide and seek in downtown Milwaukee). I didn’t want drugs at all. Out of nowhere, he broke up with me…because he was too happy. Again, I was heartbroken. And again, I went back to Nathan, but I just felt empty when I was with him. I became angry at God, again, for taking another husband.

The days kind of melted together. Everything was gray and I just floated in and out of the weeks. Months passed like this. I was sick of feeling numb over everything. I hated being this person who didn’t care about anything or anyone.

Shortly after Christmas that year, my friend, Stephanie, introduced me to Grayson. I was actively seeking a way to get rid of my depression. Ideally without involving God, because I thought He wouldn’t help me since He had taken everything I wanted. Grayson told me the only way I’d feel happiness again was if I gave my sadness to God, and put my hope in Jesus Christ instead. I told him over and over, I knew what God had to offer and didn’t want it. But, the more I talked to Grayson the newer it seemed. He was teaching me things I never learned the 17 years I went to church. So, I went through the motions of the prayer and becoming a Christian. But I still had my doubts.

Grayson and I decided to get married after eight months of knowing each other. I was so excited. But everyone around us was very unsupportive. Mostly the Christian people. It was discouraging. We eventually just went for it.

Two days later, I found out I was pregnant. I instantly regretted meeting Grayson. And again, I was angry at God. How could God have let me get pregnant and marry this man? As I became hormonal and incredibly angry, Grayson also became more angry. We constantly fought over everything. And I resented him for forcing me to go to church every Sunday when I felt he was being a hypocrite. We eventually stopped going. But Grayson continued his studies. I resented him so much.

Then Silas was born. Everything changed in that moment of having him. I loved him so much; More than words could describe. I came to the realization that everything had to happen this way. God was real and Jesus was alive. God sent His son to die for us. I could never send Silas to die for anyone. And through God’s will, Jesus rose again so that I may rise again and be alive with Him in Heaven. I became a Christ follower in the hospital with my day old baby in my arms. And I found when you obey God and accept His will, suddenly my anger was gone. My resentment towards Grayson left. And he became the “boyfriend” Grayson again. We love Silas and strive to be an example of Christ for him.

I’ve never been happier since proclaiming Jesus Christ as a true real savior. My Savior. I believe He lived a sinless, perfect life and was killed on the cross and risen again and is sitting at God’s right hand so I may delight in him forever.

Speak Your Mind